Defining: Just Friends
by GreenPaw
Summary: Everyone knows that Adrien is rather naïve. When Nino brings to his attention the oddity that is Nathalie's living arrangements with Gabriel, Adrien questions his father by the easiest means necessary: via text message. From here he learns that it's normal for "just friends" to have regular sleepovers. Much to the delight of Marinette.
1. Chapter 1

**_Many thanks to RatherOddRanger for the idea and brainstorming session for this story. I know we had a good chuckle, hope you do too!_**

* * *

 _Chapter One_

Having grown up as a very sheltered only child rarely let out of the house, Adrien Agreste had many strange ideas on what was considered normal. For instance, he'd never previously contemplated why Nathalie was always at his father's beck and call. Nor had he wondered why the woman never left. Perhaps it stemmed from the time that his mother died and Nathalie had been shoved into the role of nanny/surrogate mother as well as personal assistant.

It probably didn't help that his bodyguard was also around during his every waking hour. Although the man did go home to sleep. Otherwise Adrien would have had an awful time sneaking out as Chat Noir.

Yet it was Nino that pointed out this anomaly regarding Nathalie, and Adrien wanted to get to the bottom of it. But Gabriel Agreste was a creature who thrived on schedules and appointments. Meaning Adrien had no hope of ever spontaneously asking his father for advice. So, the boy resorted to his usual channel of communication: text message.

 **AA: Father, I was wondering why Nathalie is always at the house?**

 **GA: Because she's my employee.**

 **AA: But she's there 24/7.**

 **GA: She's very dedicated.**

 **AA: Are you sure she's just an employee?**

 **GA: What are you implying? Choose your words carefully, son.**

 **AA: Is Nathalie… your friend?**

 **GA: Yes**

 **AA: So it's normal for friends to stay overnight?**

 **GA: Yes**

 **AA: In your room?**

 **GA: If they're very, very good friends.**

 **AA: Is that why she has a toothbrush in your bathroom?**

 **GA: When were you in my bathroom?**

 **AA: Never mind. I have fencing practice now…**

Adrien flicked his phone to silent and shoved it in his bag. Plagg gave him a curious look from the interior of said bag while he pawed his whiskers. "What was that all about?"

"I was trying to understand my father's relationship with Nathalie."

The kwami snorted. "Any luck there?"

"Kind of. He said she's more than an employee."

"I bet she is."

The model pursed his lips, his gaze was distant as he pondered his text conversation with his father. Meaning he missed the fact that Plagg was being sarcastic. "Nathalie stays in his room sometimes."

"Uh, yeah." Plagg said, waiting for his young holder to join the dots.

"But he doesn't do the same with my bodyguard. Guess it must only be something a guy does with female friends."

Plagg was on the verge of slapping his own forehead. Yet refrained as he knew how sensitive his chosen was. When it came to clueless, Adrien took the cake.

The model picked up his foil and eyed his phone. "I've got five minutes before we start. I need to run this by Nino."

"You do that, kid."

 **AA: Nino, I spoke to my father like you suggested. Well, I texted him. He said that Nathalie is more than an employee. She's his friend and that's why she sleeps over.**

 **NL: Bro, employees don't normally sleep over.**

 **AA: But she's his friend too.**

 **NL: Just a friend?**

 **AA: Yeah, like Marinette is to me, I guess.**

 **NL: Does this mean you want Marinette to sleep over? ;)**

Adrien frowned at his phone and glanced at Plagg. "What's with the winking face?"

Feline eyes skimmed the message thread. "Just say yes." He was fully aware of Marinette's alter ego. He figured he was doing the boy a favour.

 **AA: Yes**

 **NL: You should ask her over then.**

 **AA: I'm at fencing.**

 **NL: And you're texting me?**

 **AA: Oh crap, gotta go.**

An hour and a half later, Adrien completed a rather intensive fencing session and shook hands with Kagami. Did he consider her a good friend? Should he ask her over too? Nah, Marinette was closer. She was his very, very good friend.

He packed up his things and headed to the waiting car. Once he was in the back seat, he quickly messaged his father.

 **AA: I've been thinking about what you said.**

 **GA: Care to enlighten me?**

 **AA: Nathalie is just a friend, right?**

 **GA: Refer to our earlier conversation thread. I don't have time for this.**

 **AA: Sorry. I just wanted to confirm. So, it's normal that she sleeps in your bed?**

 **GA: YES! What is your point? I'm very busy, Adrien.**

 **AA: Can Marinette come over?**

 **GA: If it means I can get some work done, then yes.**

Adrien grinned and switched contacts. Unaware that Plagg was reading over his shoulder, biting the end of his paw to contain his amusement.

 **AA: Hey Marinette. Sorry to message out of the blue. I hope I haven't caught you at a bad time?**

 **MDC: No, not at all.**

 **AA: That's great. I was just speaking to my father and you're not going to believe this…**

 **MDC: What is it?**

 **AA: He said it's okay for you to come for a sleepover.**

 **MDC: oigoiandsoifnotuha mioaifheoiarh eqwemofivzoigufdsg**

 **AA: Is your phone broken?**

 **MDC: Um, no. I might have dropped it.**

 **AA: So sleep over, want to come?**

 **MDC: Oh yeah.**

 **AA: You can sleep in my bed too.**

 **AA: Marinette?**

 **AA: Are you still there?**

 **AA: Did you drop your phone again?**

 **MDC: Sorry, I think I fainted.**

 **AA: You must be very tired.**

 **MDC: Totally. Can we go to bed as soon as I get there?**

 **AA: Sure.**

"Poor Marinette, she must not be getting enough sleep." Adrien commented as the car pulled up at the mansion.

Plagg uttered quietly. "Clueless, completely clueless."

Once they were within the confines of Adrien's room, he dropped his fencing bag into his wardrobe and turned to his kwami. "There was one sure way I always got to sleep when I was a kid."

"What was that?" Plagg asked as he watching Adrien's fingers fly across the screen of his phone.

 **AA: Do you want to cuddle?**

 **AA: Or is that too much?**

 **AA: Marinette?**

 **MDC: Can I come over right now?**

 **AA: I better check with my father.**

While Adrien was usually a compliant and obedient boy, he'd learnt a new saying from school: It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission. Now he was angling for that.

 **AA: Marinette is going to spend the night.**

 **GA: Excuse me?**

 **AA: You know, the girl who won the bowler hat competition.**

 **GA: Yes, I know who Marinette is.**

 **AA: You said this is what friends do.**

 **GA: I did.**

 **AA: So, it's okay if she stays in my room?**

 **GA: I… suppose.**

 **AA: Awesome, cuddles!**

 **GA: …wait, what?**

 **AA: You said good friends stay overnight and share beds. Refer to our earlier conversation.**

 **GA: Adrien**

 **AA: Yes?**

 **GA: Don't push me.**

 **AA: Sorry Father. But she's fine to sleep with me, right?**

 **GA: Just sleep.**

 **AA: Well, yeah. What else?**

 **GA: I need to work.**

In a separate part of the mansion, Gabriel Agreste rubbed his temples after laying down his phone. He glanced at his assistant. "Nathalie, do you think it's time we told Adrien?"

"Told him what, sir?"

"About our sleeping arrangements?"

Nathalie raised one artistically plucked eyebrow. "What's to tell? Surely, he's worked out what is going on."

"He's sheltered and naïve. Here, take my phone and read the latest thread."

The stern assistant did just that, lifting her lowered eyebrow to join its partner. "Should I begin arrangements for their impending marriage?"

"I hope you're kidding, Nathalie."

She continued to stare and he honestly had no idea if she was or not. Particularly when she picked up her own phone and began texting.

 **NS: Adrien, is there a particular church that you and Marinette favour?**

 **AA: Um, none that I can think of. Should I ask Marinette?**

 **NS: Please.**

 **AA: Marinette, Nathalie is asking if you have a favourite church.**

 **MDC: Why?**

 **AA: She wants to know why, Nathalie.**

 **NS: To prepare for your future together.**

 **AA: I'm forwarding you Nathalie's last response. Any idea what she means, Marinette?**

 **MDC: ?**

 **AA: I have no idea either.**

 **AA: Marinette? Are you still with me?**

Alas, Marinette was having difficulty breathing. "Tikki. Oh, please tell me I'm reading this right!"

The red kwami narrowed her eyes as she attempted to read the text on Marinette's phone but it was difficult since the girl holding it was trembling with raw excitement. "Can you hold it still please." Tikki sucked in a sharp breath. "I think Nathalie is having a lend of you both."

Marinette apparently blocked out that last sentence. "Does this mean she's going to organise our wedding?! Oh, Tikki this is so exciting."

"Woah, hold the love train. You're eighteen, he's not going to marry you."

"Maybe not right away. Some of the best places in Paris require bookings years ahead of the event."

"Speaking of heads, starting thinking with yours instead of with your hormones."

But Marinette didn't hear as she needed to text Alya.

 **MDC: Alya, Adrien has asked me to sleep over – in his bed!**

 **AC: You're pulling my leg, right?**

 **MDC: No way. Should I send you a screen shot of his texts?**

 **AC: Please do, I need to keep these for your future wedding reception.**

 **MDC: *Squeal* I have to send you the last few texts.**

 **MDC: Here they come…**

 **AC: WTF! Are you sure he's not pranking you?**

 **MDC: This is Adrien, he's nothing if not sincere.**

 **MDC: Wait a minute. OMG, maybe he's been akumatised!**

 **AC: Calm down, girl. Adrien is known to say odd things at times. His idea of normal and ours aren't necessarily the same.**

 **MDC: But the church and mention of a future together…**

 **AC: Are you at his place yet?**

 **MDC: No. I'm packing a bag.**

 **AC: So stop texting me and get your butt over there! PS – make sure you pack your scantiest PJ's. Oh, and I expect a full debrief tomorrow.**

 **MDC: Okay, wish me luck.**

 **AC: May you have the uncanny luck of Ladybug. And a possible proposal from your crush.**

 **MDC: You're the best.**

Marinette was grinning at nothing in particular when her phone pinged again. Reminding her that she hadn't responded back to Adrien.

 **AA: Marinette?**

 **MDC: Sorry, was texting Alya.**

 **AA: Oh, okay. What should I say to Nathalie?**

 **MDC: That we trust her judgement.**

 **AA: Righto.**

Adrien still had no idea what Nathalie's angle was, but he'd learnt it was best to answer the woman. Even if he was clueless to her objective.

 **AA: Nathalie, Marinette says she trusts your judgement.**

 **NS: Fantastic. I'll make the arrangements.**

 **AA: Arrangements?**

The model almost leapt out of his chair when Gabriel cut into the conversation.

 **GA: Ignore Nathalie. She's being crass.**

 **AA: I didn't know she was capable of that, Father.**

 **GA: Neither did I.**

 **AA: Marinette is on her way over.**

Gabriel's back molars were aching. His assistant had conveniently left the room.

 **GA: Nathalie, Adrien's bathroom is fully stocked with… the appropriate accessories for entertaining a girl?**

 **NS: Of course, sir.**

 **GA: Good. I mean, not good. I mean. Oh hell.**

 **NS: Time for the safe sex talk, sir?**

 **GA: I already sent him the PowerPoint presentation.**

 **NS: Efficient as always, sir. Besides I wouldn't worry. He only wants to cuddle.**

 **GA: Do you want your bonus this year?**

 **NS: Yes sir, I'm getting back to work.**

* * *

 _ **This is my first attempt at a "texting" story. I hope you're enjoying it so far and I'm not confusing you.**_

 ** _Let me know what you think in the review box below. :)_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Once again, I couldn't have done this without_** ** _RatherOddRanger who contributed to the texting._**

* * *

 _Chapter Two_

Nathalie was known for her stoic appearance but right now she was grinning from ear to ear. There were very few times that she got to taunt Gabriel in such a way and this was brilliant. The man kept his son in the dark far too much. It was about time he learned the consequences of his helicopter parenting.

Yet her moment of solo gloating was fleeting. Someone buzzed at the front gates and her usual stern expression fell into place. Nathalie lifted her phone and used the video app. "Yes?"

The screen displayed the forlorn yet excited face of Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Who stated her name then babbled something which roughly translated as: "I'm here to see Adrien. For the night!" It was clear the girl was trying to supress her fangirl screaming.

"Come in," Nathalie replied with her usual coolness. Though, she wanted to grin at the pandemonium on offer. All she had to do was drop the right sentence to start a tidal wave of amusement. No sooner was Marinette inside when Nathalie did just that. "Adrien is expecting you in his room, don't keep him waiting."

The girl flashed a manic grin and hurried up the stairs like her backside was on fire.

Meanwhile, Adrien was in his room busy texting Nino.

 **AA: So, you don't get the whole church thing either?**

 **NL: Your father is odd, dude. Remember the time they had you dress up as Chat Noir for a music video.**

 **AA: Yeah that was weird. I don't look anything like Chat Noir.**

 **NL: Dude, you're blonde, green eyed and skinny. You totally fit the Chat Noir profile.**

 **AA: No way! Chat Noir is like… taller than me and ripped.**

 **NL: He's not ripped.**

 **AA: Lean and defined then. Perhaps even chiselled.**

 **NL: Is there something you're not tell me?**

 **AA: Um, no. I have no secrets. Zero. What would I have to hide?**

 **NL: You seem awfully interested in a certain hero of Paris.**

Adrien baulked. Crap. How had Nino picked up on his crush for Ladybug? Oh well, may as well own it.

 **AA: What's not to like? Skin tight costume, grace and finesse. A smile that rivals the sun with its intensity.**

 **NL: You better tell Marinette you're gay.**

 **AA: What! I'm not gay.**

 **NL: Then why are you mooning on about Chat Noir?**

 **AA: I was "mooning on" about Ladybug. Duh!**

 **NL: Are you sure?**

 **AA: YES! Geez sometimes you are so clueless.**

 **NL: Pot, there's a call from the kettle.**

 **AA: Huh? Is that a DJ reference?**

Adrien shook his blonde head. There were times when Nino made no sense. Before he could question him further there was a knock at his bedroom door. A grin spread across the model's face as he rushed to open said door and he wasted no time in embracing Marinette. "You're here!"

Marinette made an unintelligible gurgle and Adrien loosened his hold. Sometimes he forgot his own strength. Heck, her face was red, he must have squeezed her too tight. He'd probably stopped her ability to breathe. "H-hi," she eventually stuttered.

Being the eternal gentleman, Adrien reached for her bag, ignoring the zing passing between them when they made physical contact. It was something which happened regularly but he'd trained himself to disregard the sensation. The only electricity he focussed on was that between him and Ladybug.

Extending an arm into the room, Adrien waved Marinette inside and closed the door behind her. A sudden attack of nerves hit him. This was the first time he'd entertained a guest in his room. He figured the brief visit from Nino during the Simon Says akuma didn't really count. Nor did the infrequent visits from Ladybug. A dreamy sigh escaped him at the thought of his partner.

Blue eyes widened at his unexpected expression and suddenly Marinette was standing right before him. "Are you okay, Adrien?"

"Um, uh, yeah. Sorry, just thinking… never mind." It wasn't polite to be thinking of another girl when he had one in his room. But Marinette would probably understand. No doubt she'd harboured a crush of equal proportions in her life. He'd have to ask but now wasn't really the time. He needed to be a good host. "You said you were tired. Did you want to have a shower to relax? I could even fill the spa bath if you prefer."

Those blue eyes managed to get wider. "S-spa."

"Sure, I'll go fill it up now. It can take a while. Feel free to watch the TV."

Marinette swallowed hard. "Are you going to join me?"

"Um…" He quickly backed towards the bathroom, having no idea how to answer. Was that something friends did too? "Be right back."

In the bathroom, Adrien slid the door shut and leant against it as he pulled his phone from his pocket intending on texting his father. Yet he began to wonder if it was better to ask a different female friend for their opinion. He messaged Kagami.

 **AA: Can I ask you a theoretical question?**

 **KT: As long as I can give a theoretical answer.**

 **AA: Fair enough. If you had a friend of the opposite sex staying over for a sleepover, would you deem bathing together appropriate?**

 **KT: Why Agreste, I didn't know you had it in you.**

 **AA: I never said it was me.**

 **KT: Sure, sure. Tell me this, is she pretty?**

 **AA: Yeah.**

 **KT: Do you like her?**

 **AA: Of course, she's my friend.**

 **KT: Right. How good of a friend?**

 **AA: A very, very good friend.**

 **KT: I say get in with her.**

 **AA: Are you sure?**

 **KT: One of us needs to be.**

 **AA: Right. You're taunting me, aren't you?**

 **KT: Possibly. You can always bathe with me, Agreste.**

Adrien almost dropped his phone. Ever since their ice-skating double date she'd been aggressive in her flirting. Perhaps it would have been best to text his father, like he originally intended.

 **AA: Question, do friends bathe together?**

 **GA: Define "bathe"**

 **AA: Get in a spa together. You know, is that something you and Nathalie do?**

 **GA: Why do you want so much detail?**

 **AA: I'm curious.**

 **GA: If I answer will you stop asking me about Nathalie?**

 **AA: Probably.**

 **GA: Gah, fine. Yes, I have shared the spa with Nathalie.**

 **AA: Okay. Thanks.**

Adrien was relieved that he'd cleared that up. But also confused. Why did Nathalie bathe with his father? Shaking his head, the blonde walked to the spa to check how full it was and turned off the water.

Meanwhile, Nino was chilling in his room making a remix when Adrien began texting him.

 **AA: Marinette is over now. We're going to take a spa together.**

 **NL: Way to go, dude.**

 **AA: I wanted her to relax. We're getting ready to get in.**

 **AA: OMG Marinette is in her bra! What do I do?**

 **NL: Turn her around and help her take it off.**

 **AA: Why?**

 **NL: You want her to be comfortable. Be a good host, take it off her.**

 **AA: Well, I don't want to be impolite.**

 **NL: No, that would be truly awful. Believe me, Marinette will be very thankful for your politeness.**

 **AA: Bra is off. Now what?**

 **NL: Clueless, utterly clueless.**

 **AA: No, the brand of bra is Secrets, not Clueless. Want to know her size?**

 **NL: No dude, just no. TMI**

 **AA: Oops, sorry. As a model it's common to share clothes sizes. Speaking of which, is Utterly Clueless an offshoot brand? My father would want to know of any new competition.**

 **NL: Of all the situations to bring up your father, why do it when you're with a half-naked chick?**

 **AA: She's not half-naked, she's only got her socks and panties on.**

 **NL: #$% Why are you talking to me!**

 **AA: I'm lonely.**

 **AA: Nino, she's um… she's asking me to pull her panties off with my teeth. Is it okay for friends to do that?**

 **NL: You know what, ask yourself this, if you were Chat Noir and she were Ladybug, what would Chat Noir do?**

 **NL: Adrien?**

 **NL: Adrien?**

 **NL: I'm guessing you're busy ;)**

Nino sat back with a satisfied grin, certain he'd done good by both his friends. Heck, Marinette might even make him a scarf.

Hours later, he was deeply engrossed in finalising his remix when his phone pinged.

 **AA: So… was distracted.**

 **NL: I bet you were ;)**

 **AA: The spa was amazing.**

 **NL: I'm sure it was.**

 **AA: BTW Marinette asked if I wrapped it before I tapped it. Do you know what that means?**

 **NL: You know that church talk from Nathalie.**

 **AA: Yeah.**

 **NL: Get her to book you in.**

* * *

 _ **Next chapter I'm upping the rating to M because there's just too much fun to be had with a higher rating. I hope you're having a good laugh so far.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**_Dear reader, please note I've upped the rating to M due to mature themes._**

 ** _I have to thank RatherOddRanger again, we clearly have very warped sense of humours. Enjoy..._**

* * *

 _Chapter Three_

Alya's fingers raced across the keyboard as she typed in her latest update to the Ladyblog. She was doing it on the sly while her Mum thought she was doing homework. So, when her phone chirped with an incoming message, the budding reporter almost leapt from her seat. A grin spread across her face when she saw it was from Marinette. No doubt it was an update on her sleepover with Adrien.

 **MDC: OMG it finally happened!**

 **AC: World peace?**

 **MDC: No, I slept with Adrien!**

 **AC: As in sleeping, right?**

 **MDC: No, as in hot steamy lovemaking able to compel angels to weep.**

 **AC: Lalala… not listening. TMI!**

 **MDC: Wow, I just checked the time.**

 **AC: Didn't feel like five minutes?**

 **MDC: WE WERE AT IT FOR OVER AN HOUR! HOW?!**

 **AC: TMI!**

 **MDC: He also kept purring… is that normal?**

 **AC: Purring? What kind of freaky shit are you into? Wait don't answer.**

 **MDC: It was kind of endearing. He kept rubbing his face on me.**

 **AC: Stop right there. I don't need a visual.**

 **MDC: Oddly enough he kept calling me 'milady'**

 **AC: I'm going to bed now.**

 **MDC: Me too! Adrien's bed with Adrien – yay!**

 **AC: I'm going to be an aunt, I can feel it in my waters…**

While Marinette was busy gushing to her best friend as she remained in the bathroom, Adrien was sitting on his bed trying to work out why Nino was back to that whole church idea Nathalie had suggested. As he was attempting to join the dots he received a message from Chloe.

 **CB: Hey Adrikins, Daddy said I can come over and visit. Are you busy?**

 **AA: I've got company at the moment.**

 **CB: Oh, who exactly?**

 **AA: Marinette.**

 **CB: What is she DOING there?**

 **AA: Um, me.**

 **CB: WTF?**

 **AA: Nino suggested I needed to be a good host and do as she asked.**

 **CB: You had sex with her because she asked!**

 **AA: I might have gotten a bit too into character.**

 **CB: Excuse me?**

 **AA: I was pretending to be Chat Noir and imagining Marinette was Ladybug and well, my imagination is very, very vivid.**

 **CB: I literally have a Ladybug costume and you've never imagined me as Ladybug?**

 **AA: Um, no. I can honestly say I have never ever fantasised about you.**

 **CB: Not even in my sexy Queen Bee costume?**

 **AA: Again, never ever.**

 **CB: Then why did you pretend with Marinette!**

 **AA: Well Nino said I should get my Chat Noir on and behave accordingly. Not that I'm actually Chat Noir, no, no. I have no affiliation with Chat Noir whatsoever. Purely hypothetical. Yeah.**

 **CB: NINO! THAT HOME WRECKER!**

 **AA: How is Nino a home wrecker?**

 **CB: Because you're meant to be mine.**

 **AA: Um, since when? I'm your friend… oh crap.**

 **CB: What's that supposed to mean?**

 **AA: A childhood friend is considered different to a very good friend, right?**

 **CB: I suppose, why?**

 **AA: No reason.**

 **AA: Thank God.**

 **CB: Why do I feel like I've missed something? WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME, ADRIEN?**

 **AA: I love you like a sister!**

 **CB: Like in those naughty anime films my Daddy keeps in his sock drawer?**

 **AA: It's so cool that your Dad likes anime.**

 **AA: Wait, you know about his extensive collection…**

Adrien decided it was best if he ended the conversation right there. Mayor Bourgeois' dirty little secret wasn't something he wanted to discuss with Chloe. Even if some of the anime was rather educational. Shaking himself mentally, Adrien turned his phone to silent and went to check on Marinette.

Downstairs, Gabriel was massaging his forehead with his fingers as he tried to concentrate on his work. Of course, his phone pinged, this time it was from Mayor Bourgeois.

 **MB: Gabriel, I hate to intrude but my little girl wants to visit Adrien.**

 **GA: She has a phone, does she not? Let them organise it themselves.**

Gabriel considered adding the alternative of contacting Nathalie but decided, given her current mischievous mood, it was best to leave his saucy assistant out of the equation.

 **MB: But Adrien is being… difficult.**

 **GA: Explain.**

 **MB: He said he doesn't, um, think on Chloe the way she hopes.**

 **GA: And how is this my problem? Or have anything to do with your initial query?**

 **MB: She said he's busy having sex with the "baker's daughter"**

The phone tumbled from Gabriel's fingers as he bellowed, "NATHALIE!" Trust the scheming wench to be absent when he needed her the most. He had no doubt the woman was snickering hidden somewhere within the mansion. Which meant that Gabriel had to leave the sanctuary of his office and investigate the possible conundrum in his son's bedroom.

Stalking up the stairs, the designer grumbled to himself that Nathalie was seriously in jeopardy of losing her bonus if he witnessed his son procreating. Dear God, not his precious little boy. How the hell had they gotten to this point? Stupid horny teenagers.

With nervous trepidation, Gabriel opened Adrien's bedroom door with a swift knock and barrelled inside. Upon the white lounge sat Adrien and Marinette, deeply engrossed in a video game. The designer cleared his throat as he approached the pair. He noticed how close they sat and how Marinette had her ankle hooked around Adrien's.

Closing his eyes, Gabriel uttered the question he was loathed to ask. "Did you two… do it?"

With the face of an innocent cherub, Adrien turned to face his father. "You mean beat the level?"

A relieved smile settled on the designer's face. "Yes."

"We did, but I couldn't have done it without Marinette. She's amazing."

Stiffly, Gabriel nodded, "Excellent." Then he stood there awkwardly before adding. "You know what, I'm going back to work."

With Adrien's bedroom door closed behind him, Gabriel stormed back to his office and picked up his phone. Messaging the mayor with a thunderous expression on his face.

 **GA: Adrien and his friend were simply playing video games! Tell your daughter to behave or the media will get an anonymous tip about your anime spending spree.**

 **MB: NOT MY PRECIOUS DIRTY ANIME! YOU WOULDN'T!**

 **GA: I would and you better believe it. Now control your daughter.**

At townhall, Mayor Andre Bourgeois was now in a right royal tizz. Pacing his office while running his hands through the remaining grey hair at the sides of his head. How the hell had Gabriel Agreste found out about his anime collection? Dammit, it must have been Adrien. The moment the blonde boy had expressed his interest in anime the mayor couldn't help but gush about his own private stash.

Together they had poured over his titles and Adrien had been fascinated and a little surprised at the sort of animation the older man had procured. Being a teenager, the boy was all too eager to borrow the ones that had vivid sex scenes in them. Damn he hoped all the DVD's had been returned. Feeling fragile, the mayor messaged his wife Audrey from their last chat thread.

 **MB: Darling, someone has discovered my dark secret! They're going to out me!**

 **AB: Which dark secret?**

 **MB: About my anime addiction.**

 **AB: Can anyone blame you? I've been living overseas for years. Surely, they know you're not getting any.**

 **MB: You really are a cruel bitch.**

 **AB: I love it when you talk dirty.**

It was most unexpected when Chloe chimed in.

 **CB: Mummy, Daddy you do realise you're in a family group chat, and EW!**

As usual, Audrey ignored her daughter and continued on.

 **AB: Shall I dig out the old Sailor Moon cosplay you love so much, dear?**

 **CB: Oh God, did you not read what I said!**

 **MB: I doubt it fits anymore, darling. But I wouldn't say no to wearing the ponytail wig again.**

 **CB: OMFG! YOU TWO ARE AWFUL!**

Chloe decided that she was going to turn off her phone and sit in her room devouring copious amounts of chocolate. Quite frankly, she wasn't even going to try to see Adrien. There was too much to deal with in regards to her parents. Still, she couldn't resist messaging him to remind him of her existence.

 **CB: Adrikins, turns out I'm busy. Talk later.**

Adrien glanced at his phone and let out a relieved sigh. He turned to Marinette. "Chloe's not coming over."

"Oh, what a pity." Marinette replied sarcastically.

Adrien raised a concerned eyebrow, then remembered something she'd said in the spa that he still hadn't got an answer to, even from Nino. "Earlier you asked me if I 'wrapped it before I tapped it' what does that mean?"

Marinette almost choked on her own spit and blushed profusely. "It means, did you use a condom?"

"Yeah, didn't you see the unique _balloons_ I blew up that were floating on the surface of the water? I didn't see the point of wearing one, it would have filled up with water when I tried putting it on." He said with a superior nod.

Blue eyes studied him long and hard, blinking occasionally. Adrien was truly living up to the dumb blonde stereotype. "Okay."

Her stare seemed to get him thinking. "I suppose if I put it on first and taped it around the top it would be sealed, right?"

"I'm so glad I listened to my mother and went on the pill."

Adrien gasped. "Are you doing drugs, Marinette?"

He couldn't be this oblivious, could he? Marinette cleared her throat. "You haven't heard of the pill?"

Green eyes continued to look at her in concern. "I hope you're not on ice. Oh hell, let me call Nathalie."

"Adrien, the pill is to stop me from getting pregnant."

The model paused and his eyes locked on hers. "Wait, does that mean you're having sex with other very good friends?"

"Um, no." She uttered quietly.

But Adrien was too busy, lost in his own thoughts. "Luka, of course. Do you want me to invite him over too?"

Marinette reacted before she could think and slapped Adrien's cheek. Her mouth dropped open as she attempted to apologise but the model touched his face then began nodding in understanding. "Luka's not that good of a friend, huh?"

"Uh, no. Not so much."

"Right, sorry. That was rude of me to presume." Adrien rubbed at his nape. "To confirm, you're not having sex with Luka."

"Correct."

"Then why do you need to be on this pill that stops you from getting pregnant?"

A deep blush spread across Marinette's face. "Well, my period was really heavy, this helped sought it out and make it more regular."

"I don't understand. Is this something to do with your school workload? How many periods do you have in a school day?"

"Not that sort of period."

Adrien continued to look miffed. "Huh?"

With a weary sigh, she asked, "Did you never do sex education?"

"Well, Father sent me this PowerPoint presentation but I think I learned more from anime. Mayor Bourgeois has a fantastic collection of ones with sex scenes."

Marinette gave him a dumbfounded stare. "I did not know that. I think I need to go to the bathroom, I'm pretty sure I'm going to puke."

"Okay."

Marinette disappeared to the sanctuary of the bathroom and after a breather she returned to Adrien and gave him the proper sex talk, explaining how babies were made. In complete awe, he had to ask. "So, do you ever plan on having kids?"

A high-pitched squeak was the first noise she made. Eventually she spat out, "Yeah."

"Then why are you on the pill?"

"Because I don't want to be a teenage parent."

Adrien nodded in understand. "Like Chloe, right?

"What?"

Thinking it was common knowledge, Adrien spilled. "She said XY knocked her up after one of his concerts. I had to Google 'knocked up' I thought the bastard had hit her."

"So, she's pregnant now?"

Adrien scratched his blonde head. "No, strangely enough nothing has ever been mentioned about it again. Maybe I misheard. No one speaks about it when I ask."

"Is Chloe on speaking terms with XY?"

"Last I heard she wanted to castrate him with an ice cream scoop."

"That would be a no then."

"With Chloe, that's a maybe."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, I hope you got another good laugh. I know I kept cracking up at every mentioned of the Mayor's dirty anime. I apologise for any weird stares you may have received while reading.**

 **Please let me know if we managed to deliver another cracker of a chapter in the review box below. Cheers :)**


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